Looking Back. Reliving Great Memories. Wondering & Pondering!As we grow, we always look forward seeking the bright future ahead of us. We are so occupied of looking what’s ahead of us that sometimes we forget about what had happened in the past. We oftentimes forget, and let memories just slipped away. Although beautiful memories, and the complete opposite, are hard to forget, sometimes, we just remember only bits of those memories, because we seldom revisit them, since we are too busy creating new memories and of course, thinking, perhaps worrying about what lies ahead of us.

But, isn’t it amazing that once in a while we look back and reminisce how we used to be – back to our teenage years or even the years when we are still vibrant and carefree? Isn’t it amazing to just let our memories play in our minds? We can remember past struggles – how we overcame them and how we victoriously rise amidst difficulties. In addition, we can also remember happy days, especially those that come only once in our lifetime.

I don’t know how it happened, but there are just times when life just bring us to the past, as if making our present experiences as a portal to allow us to remember the past. Whether we are trying to escape bad memories or simply recollecting great ones, life has a unique way of allowing us to look back, and maybe reflect. 🙂

Actually, just today, life has brought me back to my elementary years – back when I was still young and bold. Though I cannot recollect all those memories, but it’s somehow very clear to me that once or twice a teacher from Grade 1 or Grade 2 in our school would ask me to watch over their pupils while they are away in a meeting or in an important appointment. I am not quite sure what grade I was back then, but as far as I can remember, perhaps I was in Grade 5 or 6.

In addition, one of nieces (daughter of my cousin, in my father’s side) happened to be one of those pupils I tried to watch over when their teacher was out. Way back a year ago or so, she told me about having me in their class and I was so strict, especially when her classmates were noisy or if they are roaming around the classroom.

Now, a situation calls me again to watch over a Grade 2 class. Though it’s not that serious as I am just about to be in the class for at maximum of 3 hours but my heart pounds, and as I tried to figure out how the day would go, I am restless and nervous, not because I am afraid, but because I am filled with excitement. It’s a mix of enthrallment and wonder. A lot of question coming in my head – “What’s the reason of me having such experience again?” “Is it because I am needed to be a teacher?” “Or, is it because, somehow, life wants to tell me something and tries to bring back my old memories for me to easily grasp the message?

As I am taking over the Grade 2 class, one thing is certain to me now – these children just don’t care, whether who their teacher is – whether she’s beautiful, small, tall, white or black, whether she has a loud voice or a soft one, they just can’t stop themselves from becoming too noisy and restless. As I try to recall the past experience way back when I was still a student, and now that I’m already a grown-up, I think, I was just really too strict before for the pupils to listen to me at once when I was asked to take over.

As I continue to ponder about the experience, I think that, though I like children, perhaps, teaching them, like every day and becoming a teacher to these kids isn’t the life that I can live for. Though how much I love them, I think I can’t reach the hearts of all, though a few of them are so easy to reach out to. Being with children brightens and lightens my day, hence, I am still open and opening myself that perhaps somewhere in my life’s journey, maybe, life is calling me to be with these children again, and perhaps become their school teacher. Who knows? Life is, after all, full of turns and unexpected events.